DISQUS

Alexy_Inciarte · 9 months ago

well i refer to my patients as maam, "madrecita", mama, idk equivalents in english that acurrate, the traslation itslef would be momy, mother, i try to use first name which is difficult cause the ammount of patients involved, we are not that formal in here. good moorning sir good moorning miss.

Finnan · 9 months ago

It always brings me up short to be referred to as Mrs. Haddie by hospital staff, but I'm not offended by it because it's reasonable to assume a middle-aged patient is married even though I'm not. If I'm being kept in the hospital longer than overnight, I'll tell them they can call me Finn, but it really doesn't matter to me if they continue to call me Mrs. Haddie. As long as they know which patient I am, I'm happy.

Bianca Castafiore · 9 months ago

I've no authority to cite -- other than the unimpeachable fact that *I JUST KNOW* -- but calling them "honey" has many times caused decrepit old biddies to consider you condescending and presumptuous. You have confused their silence with approbation, or your equivalency of "I've never had a patient offended by this practice."

Actually, you temper that statement when you hit the "honey" example -- suddenly those little old biddies have the onus of needing to *tell* you whether they are offended or not. In every other example, Your Omniscience simply infers the only thing allowable -- how could you offend anyone?

Ah, but sick old biddies, especially those of a certain region or culture? They're too polite to say anything. That's why we love them.

Oh. To answer your question! In my academic field of Romance Studies, the manner in which I addressed my colleagues was dictated by our surroundings and degree of collegiality. In front of students, "Doctor" or "Professor." In private, first names, unless the person was a star with a stick-up-the-butt, in which case one waited to be granted the privilege of the first name.

Sometimes, one didn't have time to wait.

As a patient? I don't want to be addressed by my first name unless I know the person speaking to me. Once introductions are made, fine.

And -- good for you for introducing yourself. You'd be amazed at how few doctors do it, or do it at all well. Do you give a card? I have found that very helpful and wish everyone providing a service had cards to leave.

I'm gonna slink out the back door now, darlink.

The Happy Hospitalist · 9 months ago

Bianca. Interesting. I must ask, why is it offensive to call someone by their first name? I've never understood that custom.

If I was offended by someone calling my by my first name, I'd probably have to change my name if it hurt me that bad. No reason living life in such stress.

midwest woman · 9 months ago

I once called an elderly feeble gentleman by his first name...his very dignified wife said to me that is Mr. Smith to you, his good name is all that he has left.Since that day I always inquire about how they would like to be addressed...it's no big deal to you to have people use your first name but for others it is different. Don't assume because you feel a certain why that all follow suit

DZA · 9 months ago

knock on the door, identify myself and ask to come in. ask pt to identify themself. confirm with wristband. ask how they wish to be addressed.

methodical, reverent, respectful, tailored to situation, regulation compliant (wristband check) and quickly determines basic mental status. since you asked...

Bianca Castafiore · 9 months ago

Happy. Sweet'ums. I don't get offended when addressed by my first name -- "La Bonne et Belle Bianca" falls trippingly off the tongue. If it is a situation that has any sort of power struggle, *then* I might get irked. But not offended.

IRK fights back.
OFFENDED sits alone and stews.

My former colleagues who needed a curtsey and a kiss on their collective sweaty bloated ring fingers? They wore bowties and poofy hats, smelled like mothballs, and tended to take the last cup of coffee without deigning to make a new pot. Cocksuckers! (I've been watching old Deadwood DVDs)

Sometimes we called them "Endowed Chairs...."

Enough said.

~ Erica ~ · 9 months ago

I used to introduce myself by my first name to the patients and always called them Mr. or Ms. and their last name. If they wanted to be addressed by first name they usually said so.

I prefer being addressed by my first name.

When a patient myself I like it when the doctor introduces him/her self as Doctor Jane or Dr John...

When working with Doctors Initially I call them Doctor Jane or Doctor John...when I get to know them better it is usually just Doctor/Doc...or if I know them personally it is first name basis.

If someone called me honey I would only be offended in the context of them calling me that...it can be said condescendingly and I then would be extremely offended and say so. If it said tenderly then I am touched. All in all it is probably better to not call someone honey...but I often do that to those I love and never to someone other than that.

The Refugee · 9 months ago

I have been called the following by staff, despite the fact I'm wearing my lab code, MD badge, and stethoscope:

kiddo
honey
sweetie
hon

And yes. It's irritating.

Anonymous · 9 months ago

I am in the South and am occasionally asked on forms to check my preference in how I wish to be addressed.

Cross Cultural Etiquette 101:

Refer to black adults with Mr./Mrs/Ms. Using a first name is highly offensive to many due to the historical context of the lack of titles and honorifics in the time leading up to the civil rights era. A black person not using Mr. Lastname when addressing a white would get beaten, but the white always addressed the black by first name. This was a dominance ritual and so it is a sign of respect to NOT continue in that tradition.

Muslim ladies should not be referred to using terms of endearment reserved to their husbands.

Indians use ma'am several times in a single sentence as well as Mrs. Lastname.

The reason people aren't calling you out on your breach of etiquette is because they are too polite.

I am offended when I am addressed by with my first name and the only men where I live that use "honey" are husbands and gay men trying to sound stereotypically flamboyant.

EE · 9 months ago

I generally call anyone older then me ma'am or sir (anyone older then 40ish, rather). I'm often mistaken for military because of the number of times I use it during the interaction. Some patients will tell me "don't sir/ma'am me! Just call me Jim/Jane!" So I do. If I'll be taking care of them for long periods I'll ask how they wish to be addressed. Since I'm a medic I introduce myself to people by my first name. They never know my last name, and I like it like that! When I talk to coworkers (doctors, nurses, other medics) I call them by their first name. It drives 2 of our doctors nuts. So I do it more often. Most of our doctors don't care. If we're in front of a patient I refer to the doctor by their last name "Dr. Jones, take a look at this lac." One of our very nice ortho surgeons refers to the nurses as "Nurse Lastname" and the medics as "Medic Lastname" We always refer to him as Doctor, even in the informal setting in the hospital.

Kipper · 9 months ago

I was surprised when I moved to California how often random people called me honey or sweetheart. Now I don't even notice it.

I always wondered how the firstname vs. Mr. Lastname thing worked out now that the "Mr. Lastname's my dad" generation is, well, my dad.

Marco · 9 months ago

I have my Ph.D.in biology. In the scientific culture (academic or industrial), we all address each other by first name, whether we're Ph.D. scientists or techs. I only address my peers as "Dr." when they are much older, but then, these are people I'd address as "Mr." or "Mrs." if they weren't "Dr."

Interestingly, whenever I see my physicians, I have a hard time addressing them as anything but "Dr." even though they call me by my first name.

Marco

Jupo · 9 months ago

As an RN, I do the same sort of introduction when I meet a patient, and it's necessary to use their full name to ensure I'm bringing the right patient back to surgery.

But I get irritated when, for example, fellow staff call me "honey" so I never use anything like that when interacting with patients. I seem to create a pretty good rapport without it, so why bother.

I converse with fellow nurses and management on a first name basis, even the CEO of the hospital. Yet I always address the surgeons & anesthesiologists I work with as Doctor Lastname. It's mostly out of respect, I suppose. It'd be like calling my mom by her first name -- it's just _wrong_. :)

-Justin

tracy · 9 months ago

i want to call my physican "Doctor" and him to call me by my first name...or "kiddo, or hon, or m'dear..."...that would be kind of nice.

It's a matter of respect and i respect physicans...v e r y much...especially the nice ones.

ps am i spelling "physican" wrong?
pps When is the "Ides of Match"????????????? or have i already missed it???

tracy · 9 months ago

Answer my own ? YES!

Physician!

michele · 9 months ago

I introduce myself by my first name and answer to anything, up to and including "hey you" or "nursie." I don't usually call my patients by anything. I think they understand who I'm addressing when I'm looking right at them. If I've know them awhile I might call them by a term of endearment because I'm feeling maternal and protective, just like I do with my kids.

As far as being addessed as honey - who cares. If it's some jerk being condescending, then consider the source. If it's some cute young thing of the opposite sex, that's kind of fun.

Anonymous · 9 months ago

My last name is almost always mispronounced - anyone from a health care worker, to the grocery checkout person who is supposed to hand your receipt to you with a cheerful "you saved $X shopping here today, Mr/Ms Y", to a call center worker in Birmingham or Bangalore stumbles over it.

I don't mind being called by first name or last name. I've heard so many variations that it's more a source of amusement than anything else.

In Japan, where foreigners' names are written phonetically, it's not a problem. (In context, just calling "foreigner-san" would work as well as calling "first name-san" when there's only one non-Japanese in the room.)

Diana · 9 months ago

I'm offended by patients who call me nurse, when I've clearly told them at the beginning of our conversation that "I'm the nuclear medicine technologist who will be doing your scan today."

Cranky Kong,MD · 9 months ago

I was raised to call everyone Ma'am or Sir or Mr./Ms/Mrs.Lastname. So--no confusion,no offense.. I can't call someone much older than I am by their first name-It weirds me out. If an older gentleman (it's always the men) wants to call me "honey" or "sweetie", I respond the with "hey, handsome". It makes their day. And then they reminisce about the "nice" Filipino girls they met when they were stationed in Subic Bay (alllriiighty, then...). Still not offended. I'll even fetch them a .some ice chips.

But what really gets my goat is when a filipino RN calls me "Doktora" or "Docky" just because we share a nationality. I TOTALLY hated that when I was still there. They would never dare to call the other, doctors that. I don't know why it irritates the hell out of me. It makes me have grade A hissy fits and start ordering lactulose enemas QID on their patients. And hourly vital signs.

So, Mr. or Mrs. Lastname for patients, "Dr.Hotshot" for the chief of service, first names for everyone else, and if you call me "DocTora", I will bitchslap you from here to Manila.

And since no one can seem to pronounce my last name, i'm just Dr. D.

FridaWrites · 9 months ago

I prefer to be called by my first name, particularly because Mrs. makes me feel really old and my illnesses already make me feel old. It bothers me less than in my 20s, which means I'm growing into it. But I don't expect that people remember something different for me than they use for other patients and get that someone's always going to be upset by a particular choice--it's just not that big of an issue.

I am on a first name basis with several doctors I've known for about a decade and it doesn't seem to be disadvantageous to the dynamic. With a couple of people I also know from other contexts, it would be weird and awkward to refer to them as Dr. X in front of other people. My dentist whom I've seen since I was 5 is unquestionably Dr., though, as was my family doctor from childhood. I don't think it really matters so long as people are professional in what they do.