DISQUS

Anonymous · 8 months ago

I've never been disrespectful. I did once while at the end of my rope yelled at a nurse that I'd had enough and was leaving because I didn't believe waiting 4+ hours for my daughters doctor to see her (our appointment was at 1 and by 5pm we still hadn't been seen). That was the last time too that I saw that doctor.

I think often what you find is a lot of disrespected family who just want respect and to be treated like they're not morons and didn't get it so they just attack when they meet the new guy because that's all they know to do.

emily · 8 months ago

This may be true for you as a doctor, but I’ve heard about plenty of times where the “squeaky wheel” got the grease and the more polite patients were sidelined to their detriment. I’ll bet you wouldn’t go into any medically critical situation where you would be incapacitated without having an advocate there for you to check that your care would be good for you. Would you assume that risk and trust that the medical staff or the apathy of the medical staff couldn’t work as your enemy?

Check out this recent post on Dr. Amy’s blog about her having to raise hell to get attention for her dying father. She was fortunate to have a background in medicine and an understanding of the chain of command to get him what he needed, but what was being done for him was to let him suffer.
http://skepticalob.blogspot.com/2008/09/night-before-my-father-died.html

I don’t know how you can argue that a third party payer system plays into a disrespect of physicians. Physicians don’t seem to suffer from a lack of respect from my patient perspective, but some do have plenty of arrogance to go around. Maybe a jaded and condescending physician/ hospital system deserves to be called to task. By the time this happens, imagine the problems or lack of communication that has built to it. Patients who have “irrational expectations” probably needed to be told gently about that problem before it ever came to yelling on their part.

Bo... · 8 months ago

You are correct---everything was different thirty years ago. Now, patients are jaded by a system which is definitely broken. And as a burnt out ER RN, I have my own complaints. I quit working last year---and admitted defeat at the hands of a system which drained every single drop of sanity I had in my body. I passed the baton....

IcedLatte · 8 months ago

The situation in the room isn't just about the whackadoodle US medical payment system. I'm not sure it's from a sense of entitlement all the time. Patients and family are scared and vulnerable. Unidentified people run in and out of patient rooms at all hours of the day and night. You're a bar code on your wristband to most. It's NUTS to be mean to a nurse--they bring your dibbydab! Yell at the doctor! It's safe. They're the figure everybody defers to all day long, but who only appears for five minutes at 6am and promises to come back but doesn't. I observed soooo much naughty MD behavior during a recent hospital admission. I strolled the halls spying. There's good, efficient, humane behavior, and there's rounding when you see the family leave for lunch when you're sure the patient is in the bathroom. There's spending less than a minute in the room and charting by nurse's notes. There's pawing family off to the next doctor. Lazy and sloppy, which it would be if the reimbursement was $5 or $50,000. That's not every physician, certainly, but I was chagrined to see many speed demon MDs chatting happily at the nurse's stations after spending 30 seconds in a room.

I'm sure you repeating "I'm not your enemy" over and over is reassuring; I'm sure it's just as reassuring that you don't fake a page and run from the room like many other physicians. Speaking as a physician who has faked a page once or twice...

Dr. RB · 8 months ago

What you say is very, very true and the "I am not your enemy" line is one I'm going to have to try out. When family members find out you're a resident they are often even more outraged that they don't get to see a "real" doctor.

Alexy_Inciarte · 8 months ago

"I am not your enemy. Yelling at me will not make me do anything for you that I am already doing."

good line, Im gonna try it with my patients. you havent learned not to paid attetion to relatives. I wont get high hopes for me. 5 years as an internist, 3 as a resident you should have payed less attention to them, and still you dont.

more outraged, when you got 2 years of experience as a general physician with no previous specialization.

JosephinesMountain · 8 months ago

Bo said it right. The system is broken on so many levels. I almost long for the days when MD's were paid with chickens and pies.

Still, nice line Dr.Happy, to diffuse tensions and get everyone back on the same page.

Mehmet · 8 months ago

This observation seems to hold especially true for families who have their supposed "loved ones" in nursing homes. I have worked in long term care facilities and I am painfully familiar with how some of those places suck. When things are going well these families don't even bother to check on the well being of those "loved ones". When events start spiraling down, however, they become abundantly protective and caring. I think this mostly stems from their deep seated feelings of shame and guilt for having placed the ones for whom they should be be the primary caregivers and start attacking the physicians, nurses or whoever gets in their way. Pathetic really.

Anonymous · 8 months ago

I prefer, "I am Dr. Thor, Lord and Ruler of this room and this hospital. Shut up and obey me!"

Usually only works on the demented ones.

emily · 8 months ago

I am amazed at the commentators here who cannot for a minute imagine that a patient has been ignored up to the point that a family is really frustrated with the system and takes it out on someone who may or may not be deserving. If you haven't been paying attention, people have died in waiting rooms in hospitals ED departments. How would being "nicer" have helped those people? If anything, being more aggressive might have helped.

I'm sorry if I don't think MD means patients should have an irrational reverence for that person and his/her authority. Doctors are human with all the good and bad that comes with it. Why should they expect to be treated better or worse than anyone else? Should patients try being polite first? Absolutely. Should they stand up for themselves when they perceive that they are not getting the care that they should? Yes to that too.

And yes, you are being paid to do a job which requires interacting with people who can be difficult. It’s not the people that you interact with who are responsible for the payment system you are dissatisfied with.

emily · 8 months ago

Anonymous said:
"I am Dr. Thor, Lord and Ruler of this room and this hospital. Shut up and obey me!"

Arrogant, arrogant, arrogant. Bet you truly think that deep down you are better than everyone else, don't you? I can see why you wouldn't post with a name with that.

Frank Drackman · 8 months ago

Are you really a Doctor??? Your approach works about as well as trying to "Reason" with the School Bully...only thing these Cretins understand is a steel tipped kodiac workboot to the kidney...

Anonymous · 8 months ago

Emily. It's a joke. Lighten up.
- A Different Anonymous

dr_dredd · 8 months ago

Check out this recent post on Dr. Amy’s blog about her having to raise hell to get attention for her dying father. She was fortunate to have a background in medicine and an understanding of the chain of command to get him what he needed, but what was being done for him was to let him suffer.
http://skepticalob.blogspot.com/2008/09/night-before-my-father-died.htmlWelcome to the world of the so-called "conscience clause."

PM, RN · 8 months ago

That's a great line, I'll have to keep that in reserve for the nursing home.

However, didn't you mean:

"I am not your enemy. Yelling at me will not make me do anything for you that I am not already doing." ?

Sorry, grammar nazi.

Nurse K · 8 months ago

Okay, everyone find a chair. I'll wait.
....... ...... ......

I think that is a good line. Totally going to try it.

tracy · 8 months ago

Anonomyous # 1 Great, "Thor", i loved it! That was tooo funny!!! :)

Hi Dr. Frankie!

Anonymous · 8 months ago

It's not a joke. I really am Thor.

Really.

Seriously.